Take your Shadow Self on a Date π· Page of Cups Reversed
Tarot for the week of 01/05/23 π Sometimes you have to see the fish to realise you are the fish (and other odd advice)...
Hi, all.
Welcome back to Xandua Tarot's weekly forecast.
Right now, I am stewing some juice of dandelions, lemons, and oranges over the stove. Waiting for it to boil as I make some Jam. Some very seasonal Jam. I'm doing this sort of as a celebration of Mayday/Beltane, but also because there are so many dandelions on the farm where I work. And they're delicious. And I love Jam. It's a win-win for all of us.
I picked all of these flowers on a really sunny day when the pollen was thick. The flowers themselves popped up from the earth, a portent of the sun that is to come. I hope by making this jam, that I am trapping that sunshine (in something that can be spread on homemade bread) as the rest of the season goes on.
The card I drew last week, the Nine of Cups spoke about networks, mycelial or otherwise, the connections that we form between each other. The power, emotional or physical, that they can exert on us. The ways in which we will support others and they will support us. This week, the Page of Cups Reversed asks us to do a different kind of reflection.
Tarot for the week of 01/05/23: Page of Cups Reversed
When I look at this card, I first see the hat. Maybe I'm just obsessed with hats. I see the fish in the cup looking at the person with a hat that looks like a fish. There's some sort of recognition between the fish and the hat, or at least that's how I interpret it. It's almost as if by seeing something that is similar, something it can draw parallels to, they are seeing themselves for the first time.
Cups are the suit of emotions, water, and the fluidity of both of those things. I think this is a very potent card for the idea of the shadow self. When talking about the shadow self, people often describe it as the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden, the darkness that we are afraid to show the world. In that darkness, right at the core, is something good. Say you are βbossyβ or a βbitchβ, it usually means that actually, deep down, you know what you want and youβre not afraid to ask for it. Reframing aspects of our shadow self (while also not just letting it take over) is important for getting to know ourselves better.
With the Page of Cups Reversed, it's almost as if we are ignoring the things of ourselves that we see in others. We're refusing to see how the fish and our hat are similar. We're refusing to see how we and someone who might upset/annoy us or make us feel small/angry may be similar. It's a hard card to sit with. It's not the easiest, but it is also very worthwhile.
This week, something to ask yourself (something to think on, something to mull over while you look for the fish that is also you), is how people are similar to you. Or what is it about a person that annoys you and why? Where can you find that within yourself?
It's a very hard question to ask and it's not the funnest to find the answers. But once you do, you can basically trap the fish (this aspect of yourself) in a cup. You can look at it straight on. When you do this you can figure out what to do with it.
You could release it back into the wild, you could nourish it. You could put it in a fish farm and grow some more fish. You probably shouldn't do that, but you could. If it's an aspect of yourself that you actually like, there's also the element of seeing something in a person, being annoyed by it, and thinking, I could never do that. By discovering parts of yourself that show you that you could do this thing, honing in on them, and trying to make those parts of yourself stronger. Until you identify this part of yourself that you want (or don't,) you're not going to be able to make it bigger or smaller. Bringing it back to reflection, the Page of Cups is an almost tranquil card, but it's also one of great discovery.
When it comes to the Page's position within the court cards. It's the lowest of them; below the knight, the queen, and the king. Some of this rubs off on how much responsibility one has this week. That's not to say that you get to blame your βfaultsβ on someone else, or that you get to take them all on as your burden. More, your responsibility is solely to yourself to you fix these things or to you simply address them. You're not responsible for what other people might find to be an important or attractive trait. You're not responsible for what you perceive as annoying or attractive. You're responsible for what you do with that information. You're responsible for how you respond. But you don't have to teach anyone else, you don't have to command anyone else to act a certain way. It's all about what you choose to do. That's kind of an interesting thing to sit with.
I'm going to try to tie this all back in with the tradition of Mayday now, which is not the easiest thing to do when we're talking about deep shadow work, but I think it can weave back in. This time of the year is about the reemergence of spring. This was highlighted to me by a big frost hitting the farm where I work. All the daffodils were absolutely flattened, crushed, devastated when I came in in the morning. By the afternoon when the sun had peeked out, so had they. They'd perked up and were looking pretty okay. This is something that we need to hold within all of us when we're looking at these parts of ourselves that we may or may not like. The capacity for rebirth, the capacity for growth, the capacity to survive big, terrifying frosts or other slightly less-natural disasters. We can always bounce back.
So if you're trying to integrate the lesson of this week, I would say go out, be in nature. Bring in some flowers, as it is traditional on May 1 (to bring in flowering branches), and take in nature's ability to bounce back; to take on changes and to evolve itself around all sorts of stimuli and all sorts of adversities. To know that you too are nature and you too can do this.
Go pick some flowers. Take yourself on a date. Think about the things that piss you off about other people and see how they might relate to you. Take those parts of yourself out on a date. Interrogate them, ask them how they have served you so far. Be kind to them. And if that seems a bit heavy, it is. But it's also kind of interesting. Let me know what you find.
As always, my Tarot offerings are available online. They can be Written or via Voicenote, or as a live Zoom session. All of my sessions are done on a sliding scale, so it's pay what you can. If you can pay more, then the βextraβ is carried forward so that someone else can get a session for free. Let me know if you're interested in any of this.
Catch you in either.
Bye.
M
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